On the Water (Boating Scenes)

More of my writing from my old newsletter, Outdoor Basics Weekly.

If you’ve been with me since the first issue, you know these scenes are to whet your appetite for all things outdoors. I dip into my experience and imagination to see if I can get you to experience the outdoor world on the grand movie screen of your mind. I hope you like these...

Scene 1

It all seemed so innocent when we set out. The wind was calm and the current almost imperceptible as we pushed the sleek canoe away from the sandy bank. The flat water mirrored the green of the trees and the intense blue of the cloudless sky. A beautiful early fall day, we still had the river to ourselves as the unknowing abandoned it in favor of pheasants and football.

The cool, dry air sucked up the perspiration from our paddling like the wick in a kerosene lamp, leaving a little chill when we paused to rest. Without the quiet sounds of paddles dipping into the water and coming out, we could hear the low hum of the river now. Looking to the bank, we both saw it moving by faster than before.

The next bend in the river told the tale of the hum, as the docile stream turned to wild foam. Picking up speed quickly now, we chose our alley and went for it. Paddling wildly, we dropped into the rapids. Turning, bucking, the front of the canoe bouncing from the waves as it pushed us back into the channel, we both shouted as we paddled. Spray streamed off our hair and dripped from our chins as we bellowed our exhilaration to the empty sky.

Then the water went flat again, and we drifted a moment, savoring the adrenaline rush of the rapids. As though the ride has linked our minds, we start paddling again at the same time. The work is rhythmic, the ache in shoulders and arms and hands feels wonderful as we head for the next bend and the next patch of foam.

Scene 2

It’s a bluebird day. The kind that makes Chambers of Commerce everywhere drool over the possibilities. The kind of day when even the most timid soul eyes the Harley in the window and hums “Born to Be Wild.” Only we’re headed for the marina, and our motor wouldn’t make a moped jealous.

Walking down the dock, we examine the sleek lines of our girl for the day. Trim in the waist, not too broad in the beam, looking like she was built for speed.

We climb aboard and get ready to cast off. I’ll unfurl the sail while you steer us clear of the smoke belching diesels and roaring outboards. We both watch the little gnat-like jet-skis annoying the bigger boats and root for the bugs to get smacked.

Finally, open water. We haul up the rainbow colored main sail, then the matching spinnaker. With a “thump”, the nylon draws tight and our girl starts showing signs of life. The speed starts to build, and yet the only sound is the water rushing by the side of the boat.

Tacking back and forth, we take a large portion of the day to reach - nowhere. Now we turn back with a swing of the boom and the creak of the tackle. Time to slip the reins and let the lady run! And run she does, like a champion race horse sniffing for the finish line. It’s hard to believe anything this quiet can run this fast. Hair bowing from behind, swirling around our faces, we grin a smile guaranteed to reward the owner of the Harley with flyspecks on his teeth. Pity the poor motor-boaters, chugging along in their fumes, chained to the fuel hose at the marina. They will never know this kind of freedom.

Scene 3

The picnic was fun. The food at the barbecue delicious. Now come the words we’ve been waiting to hear.

“Who wants to go for a boat ride?”

We pile onto the big pontoon boat, with its comfortable couches and shady awning. Our host pushes off from the dock, jumps aboard and settles into the captain’s chair behind the wheel. Poor guy, he has to do all the work, steering the boat and all. We just have to enjoy it.

Everyone aboard has done this cruise before. The lake really isn’t all that big, a mile or so across by a couple of miles long. It really doesn’t matter, though. The boat ride is always a good time. Sometimes we sit and talk as we watch the familiar shore go by. Sometimes we just sit and watch.

It’s really very warm today. The air moves over the skin like lukewarm bath water. There’s a light breeze, just enough to make things comfortable. With ideal conditions, a full belly and good company, you can just feel the stress and tension ooze out.

You and I decide to dangle. Moving to the front of the pontoon’s deck, we sit on the edge, letting our bare feet hang in the cool water. As we slowly cruise the shore, we can feel the location of underwater springs, marked by a sudden cooling of the water. After a short time, we get back up, grab something wet and cold (and non-alcoholic) from the cooler.

By the time we return to the dock, we’ve forgotten what stress is. I can tell just by the look on your face that all is right with your world. If we could bottle this and put it on the market, psychiatrists would be driving trucks and bars would all be Starbuck’s. The best part is, even back home, behind the desk reading some moron’s flaming attempt at wit, all we have to do to get that feeling back is close our eyes and let the boat ride do its number.

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